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sarnai4 · 1 month ago

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For the Crimes Of...

Disclaimer: I am not an expert on Greek mythology. I have some projects where I wanted to learn more about them, so I did research, but that's it. What I'm using here is from a mix of tales I've read. I'm very open to discussion and learning more about them if anybody wants to do that in the comments/reblogs! This is just a little something I thought of. Blame crime TV shows like Law and Order, but I wanted to rank the younger set of Olympus siblings from most crimes committed against women and children to least. I'm not even tackling the older set because I wouldn't know to put Zeus or Poseidon at the top. So, let's begin:

Hermes. The messenger god is accused of harassment, enlisting the aid of Arglauros to seduce her sister, Herse, then turning Arglauros to stone when she tried to prevent this from happening. He is also charged with several cases of sexual assault, including but not limited to stealing Aphrodite's sandal, then assaulting her when she went to look for it; using a substance to put Princess Chione to sleep before assaulting her; and pursuing Apemosyne, then blocking her path to slow her down so that he could assault her. He is also charged with pedophilia for engaging in the ancient practice of pederasty, which involves the abduction, grooming, and statutory rape of a minor.

Apollo. Although credit must be given to Apollo for respecting consent when given an outright no, he is charged with harassment to the extent that it led to women ending their own lives to escape his advances. Fortunately, he was a protector of children and taught them without requiring any sexual favors in return. Unfortunately, he is still charged with the kidnapping of Melia. He is also accused of sexual assault against Dryope with whom he engaged in sexual activity while in the form of a snake.

Artemis. The goddess of hunting has not used her temples as a way to protect virgins. In some stories, she is charged with abandonment of Callisto, a victim of sexual assault, who was turned away for no longer being a virgin or turned into a bear. In other cases, she accidentally killed Callisto after the woman was turned into a bear or made Callisto into a constellation. Artemis was able to protect her mother, Leto, from attempted assault; however, she is charged with aiding and abetting a sexual assault with Nemesis and Eros against the woman, Aura, who thought Artemis was too beautiful to be believable as a virgin. Artemis is also charged with felony animal cruelty on Polyphonte, a former follower of Artemis who had been sexually assaulted. Artemis then had the mortal get attacked by animals. In an odd attempt to help a follower, Arethusa, she turned the girl into a spring.

Hephaestus. The crafter god is sometimes accused of the attempted assault of Athena. Thankfully, this never is successful. He could be ranked lower, but finding himself a wife through the imprisonment of his mother is not a consensual way to have a marriage.

Dionysus. Depending on the evidence, I would like to defend Dionysus as a victim of coercion. This would be under the assumption that an altered state of awareness against his will caused him to behave in aggressive ways. If this is not true and Eros's arrow was not the cause of his actions, then Dionysus is charged with drug-facilitated sexual assault on Aura (or Nicaea, also depending on the version), to whom he secretly gave wine before performing the assault. Outside of this, the rest of his relationships seem consensual.

Athena. No accounts have been found of the goddess of wisdom aiding and abetting, condoning, or being directly involved in the assault of another individual. She did however turn Arachne into a spider for justifiably calling attention to the cruelty of the immortals, but as a symbol of freedom, it aligns with her beliefs to mostly help victims. She even honored the brutal murder of a follower of hers by turning the corpse into a myrtle or olive tree. Athena adopted the young Erichthonios, taking him under her wing when he had no one else. Sadly, her way of helping victims is slightly impractical. An example of this is turning Corone into a crow so that she would not be pursued by sexual predators. Another time was when she turned Medusa into a gorgon to prevent her from being attacked again. Although an argument can be made that the goddess is helping, the women might not be overly receptive to her aid when the cost is their humanity.

Ares. The god of war is on the bottom of this for a simple reason. Not only have no accounts been found of him committing sexual assault, but he also defends the victims while going after the perpetrators. Depending on the version, he either avenged the assault of his daughter, Aclippe, or prevented it altogether. Similarly, when Hera and Artemis were being relentlessly pursued by the Aloadae, he fought to protect them both. He does aid Aphrodite in her adultery, but he has not taken her by force nor have his other partners been unwilling to be with him. It is worth mentioning as well that Sparta's legal age of marriage was between 20 and 18-year-olds, a far more practical age gap between husbands and wives than the common younger wives with older husbands. Women were also able to manage their own properties, compete in sports, and leave home whenever they wanted.

(Had to edit this because I was reminded of Artemis and Apollo killing a horde of children and Hephaestus just isn't as mean as that.)

#greek mythology #greek goddess #greek myths #ancient greek #greek gods #hermes #apollo #athena #ares #artemis #hephaestus #dionysus #ares god of war #athena goddess of wisdom #hermes greek mythology

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sno-the-silly-guy · 6 months ago

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ANALYZING Subspace's Character Through Dialogue To Come To The Closest Approximation We Can Of His Personality

ALT TITLE: I start losing it over snippets of dialogue from an evil scientist

I like Subspace. Funny guy. But recently, I had an identity crisis and I realised I have no idea what his personality is anymore, so today we'll be going through most of his dialogue to uncover the DARK SECRETS of what he's really like! (Spoilers: there isn't much)

DISCLAIMER: I am not the authority on Subspace. DO NOT use this to put other people down about their headcanons. All of this could be wildly inaccurate when the Phighting lore is released in 2030.

Very long essay under the cut! Also i'm not sure if this is like an actual analysis, it's more just,,, making conclusions from his dialogue

Backstory

The backstory of a character is vital to figuring out who they are. So, i'll go over what I know of Subspaces backstory. This part is gonna be a little iffy, as it is the most reliant on my memory of what the devs have said about him and not his actual dialogue. But enough preamble, lets do a quick summary!

The farthest back we know is that Subspace is working at Blackrock with Medkit. Subspace only dislikes Medkit a little at the moment.

One day, Medkit and Subspace presumably have a disagreement, which causes Subspace to lash out and rip out his eye. Medkit, in self-defense, gives Subspace a major injury, causing his right arm and the left side of his face to slowly rot away, all while spreading to the rest of him.

Sometime after this incident, Subspace hires Hyperlaser as a mercenary. And three years ago from the current day, he created the Biografts. Possibly, currently working on a new type of Biograft.

Character Motivation

Next, we figure out his character motivation in the context of Phighting. This is a step i've singled out from his personality, as I believe it is quite important. So, lets go over a couple theories!

1: Getting revenge on Medkit

This is likely, but there is one part that stands out to me, as Hyperlaser does not make any mention of trying to attack Medkit. Strange considering he works for Subspace. (the closest acknowledgement of this is HL: "Just for you, Subspace.")

The biografts do target Medkit (BG: "TARGET SPOTTED", "I HAVE COMPLETED THE ULTIMATE MISSION"). Subspace, when talking to Broker on the phone, also presumably asks him for Medkit's location. (Broker: "No, I don't know anybody by that name.") He's also shown to be vengeful, as one of his losing dialogues is (SS: "I will get my revenge!!")

It can be safe to assume that Subspace is looking for Medkit, but this progress is halted by the True Eye Church.

2: Power/Fame

Subspace is seen numerous times trying to gain power, being friendly to anyone who has a higher status than him, and seemingly burying himself in his work for Blackrock, which he believes gives him fame. The most prominent example of this is his dialogue with Banhammer, where he tries to be less weird. It is also referenced in a comic by Soda, where he tries to suck-up to Banhammer (though he fails miserably.)

I can't find it anywhere, but i'm also pretty sure that it's been explicitly stated that he does this.

Either option is pretty likely. He could also want both!

General Personality

This is based off of my own view of what he's like, but I will try to provide as much evidence for all of my claims as I can.

First of all, he's very showy. He wants people to think that he's cool and menacing. He gets offended when people have a different perception to how he views himself. (VS: "Oh! That outfit is cute! Where did you get it?" SS: "Cute!? I'll have you know that this outfit was custom tailored for Blackrock's finest!! Which, of course, is ME!!") (SCY: "Say... Do I know ya from somewhere?" SS: "Of course!! Who hasn't heard of me?? For I am the genius Subspace T. Mine!!")

He also has art depicting him showing off his scars to the viewer, which reinforces this point. He also lies to keep up his persona. (MK: "I'm surprised your body is still holding up." SS: "You didn't do that much to me!!") (BH: "Are all the experiments at Blackrock ethical?" SS: "Of course!!") Despite all this, he isn't good at convincing others of perceived excellence.

He isn't against doing whatever if he thinks it would help him gain more power. He doesn't care for most people. (the non-consensual experiments, the way he talks to Vine Staff etc etc). He is not above snitching. (SS: "I'll have the warden know about this!!")

He's passive-agressive when talking to Medkit, and he seems to get a kick out of calling him a nickname. He only does this to annoy Medkit, because when he is seemingly talking to himself, he addresses Medkit properly. (SS: "How nice it is to see my best friend Medkit once again!!" compared to "Hey Meddy!! How great it is that we get to see each other again?!")

As seen by drawings from Soda, Subspace enjoys it when people are willing to listen to him talking about what he's interested in, especially his scientific developments. He doesn't care about what others are interested in, or any of their worries. (BB: "Any type of music you like, Subspace?" SS: "The screams of the poisoned!!" BB: "Interesting...") (SS: "Another healer?! We could use someone like that back at the lab!!" VS: "...I think I'll pass.") (VS: Be careful not to consume your own poison." SS: "I don't need any advice!!)

He doesn't seem to be aware of how difficult he is to talk to. He doesn't understand sarcasm very well (literally every medkit conversation. SS: "How's that eye doing, Meddy??" MK: "It's doing great, I think i'll be able to see out of it again soon." SS: "Really?!" MK: "No.") (NOTE: I'm not sure how genuine Subspace is when talking to Medkit. Take this point with a grain of salt.)

He gets excited when he is right about something pertaining to science. (SS: "MY INVENTION!! IT WORKED!!") He's generally passionate about his field of study.

He's been described as loud and obnoxious numerous times. (HL: "Finally some peace and quiet." MK: "How long do you think you can keep that mouth shut, Subspace? [...]") His dialogue also implies this, as all of his sentences are ended with double exclamation marks (!!) or an interrobang. (?!)

He, without a doubt, enjoys seeing/hearing people in pain, and murder. He literally tortures people for fun. All of his kill dialogue is the main example for this.

TL:DR: Passionate about science. Wants to be perceived as cool so he takes the opportunity to show off, will lie in order to further this aim, but most demons aren't impressed. Doesn't care for most people, and will do whatever it takes to be powerful/famous. Gets on most peoples nerves, but will try to annoy people he doesn't like. Loves being listened to. Loud and obnoxious. His favourite hobby is torture!

Micellaneous information

Heres some tidbits I found hard to fit in the personality section, that are also important.

He has no sense of taste, due to his rot! He also has spiky teeth!

He's been described as well known but not famous. I suppose you would only know his name if you had an interest in his specialty, like if you needed to keep up with scientific developments.

He doesn't listen to music. Unless you count screaming, that is.

He's only stuttered once, when Scythe bullies him. (SCY: "Or what? Yer gonna run back to yer little robots and cry?" SS: "I-I refuse to answer such a stupid question!!") This implies that he's lying, and that he uses his robots as free therapy. He does not stutter when lying to Banhammer though, but it's still something to consider.

I believe it has been said that he's on painkillers constantly.

Author's Notes

Again, this is not the CANON LORE, this is just my interpretation of the character. I am equally likely to be completely wrong or right on the money. This is just for fun!! (and to prove i have done my research)

Also nobody is talking about Broker phone dialogue. Help me. Why does Broker give sass to Hyperlaser, but not Subspace. He has equal reasons to dislike both, unless he's somehow afraid of Subspace (unlikely since Scythe is fine bullying him) or he doesn't like Medkit (massive implications???). Whats up with that.

I'm still not over the fact that he only calls Medkit "Meddy" when he's talking to him. What a loser. /aff

Thank you Phighting wiki on miraheze for compiling all the dialogue. I wouldn't have been able to make this without it!

#cult mention #subspace phighting #phighting subspace #subspace phighting!#phighting! subspace #phighting #phighting!#phighting roblox #phighting! roblox #I THINK thats all the notable parts. i can finally rest #very anxious to post this but we live laugh love

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wolfgang1097 · 2 months ago

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Disclaimer: I do not condone in anything disturbing nor inappropriate with any of the subject matter involved. I also do not condone in any trolling either.

"White Spy is the Snow White of Spy vs. Spy," White is pure and wholesome," and blah blah blah...

You've got to be kidding! I'm sorry, but if you think and even headcanon that White Spy is pure and wholesome and even portray him as a hero all the time while treating Black like he's a spawn of Satan, then you're living in a fart bubble! Just because White is great with animals, especially dogs, does not mean that he's a "good boy," and I have proof of why every single claim about White Spy being "angelic" is all a bunch of bullcrap:

Plus, there's this part when he threatens the plastic surgeon into making a clone of himself just before that one graphically violent scene that I exposed back in late-January or early-February:

Then there's this scene where he thinks this random old lady is Black in disguise and tries to attack her, only for the old lady to kick his ass:

In my honest opinion, White deserved it. In another paperback strip he forces a Black Embassy geisha at gunpoint to have a clam form a pearl around a bugged microphone. It is from a paperback that I don't have a physical copy of as of yet, but that one is from "The Fourth Declassified Files of Spy vs. Spy," which was later reprinted as "Missions of Madness," I think. Once I have saved up enough, I'll be looking forward to buying it off of Amazon just like I did with my only paperback (as of now), "Masters of Mayhem," back in January. Also, there was a strip called "Operation: Altered Ego," from the paperback "The Third Dossier of Spy vs. Spy," where White plays a really cruel (and very disturbing) prank on Black after the former read "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde." This results in Black turning into a Mr. Hyde version of himself and ends up being taken to the nut house, all thanks to White using his love for literature to his own advantage despite that it has been used against him on other multiple occasions. That incident is proof that White has set up harsher, more callous, and disturbing traps for Black, and I am not surprised as I am beyond positive that this obviously isn't the only time he has pulled even more callous pranks on Black; remember what he did in "Operation: Maid of Steel" (which was made into animated short towards the end of the first season of MADtv 23-24 years later) from the same paperback?

Anyway, this is my point and I am dead serious: stop calling White Spy wholesome, pure, and good because I have evidence that proves otherwise! He may be great with animals (*cough**cough*Operation: Operation*cough**cough*) and can be a softy deep down inside, which shows that he does have standards, but that does not mean he is pure and wholesome!

No, I am not defending Black Spy either. Though I am sure he probably has standards as well, and might be a softy deep down inside, too. I mean, according to the wiki (which may not be 100% valid, of course, though), Black has been shown to be empathetic towards civilians, which is something White usually exploits at any given opportunity. Not to mention that Black also seems to be great with children, apparently. To anybody who loves antagonizing Black Spy, when you say you love White Spy better yet have tons of artwork torturing Black nonstop more than artwork of White, you are openly proving that you're a hypocrite, so why don't y'all do a lot of us this favor: cut the crap and leave Black alone!

This post was not meant to antagonize White Spy; this post was meant to expose him. Neither spy is good nor evil because the comics were not supposed to have the good vs. evil element; they were intended to represent that war is worthless. Both Black Spy and White Spy were meant to be equally sadistic, psychotic, and callous towards each other. Don't get me wrong. I mean, I love both Black Spy and White Spy equally because I think they're both simultaneously adorable and insane at the same time. Either way, I am sick and tired of people portraying one spy as good and the other as evil. I mean, this whole "white is good" and "black is evil" misconception and stereotype is nothing but a bunch of stupid crap. Seriously, this whole good vs. evil element headcanon in the Spy vs. Spy fandom gets on my nerves and it needs to end NOW.

I do not claim ownership of any content. Spy vs. Spy belongs to the defunct MAD Magazine and the late, great Antonio Prohías.

#spy vs spy #white spy #black spy #antonio prohias #mad magazine #spy vs spy paperbacks #rant post #rant and exposure #white spy exposure #exposure post #you people obviously don't get it #white spy is not the “snow white” of spy vs spy and I have proof #just because white is great with animals does not mean that he's wholesome #I am dead serious: stop calling white “pure” and “wholesome” right now #you people throwing in the good vs evil interpretation into the fandom gets on my nerves so cut the crap already #both black and white were meant to be equally sadistic towards each other #then again a big portion of you are never going to understand that the comics did not need the good vs evil vibe in the first place #nor are you going to even care #they were supposed to represent that war is worthless

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girl-named-matty · 2 months ago

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how they react to getting sent an nsfw pic?

(not nsfw under the cut but rather something funny and then something serious that I feel like I need to address)

(I'm sorry that you had to see that, brainrot humor is my way of coping through situations like this lol)

OKAY NOW THAT YOU HAD TO SEE THAT, LET ME TALK ABOUT SOMETHING! And let's be serious for a second.

This was an ask I received a couple of months ago, it's been sitting in my inbox while I've been wondering what to do because no, this is not the first time I've received a nsfw ask. I've received quite a few as well as disturbing and inappropriate messages from adults on tumblr. No one who actively contributes to the fandom but who does partake in consuming hl fandom content. (So dont worry, your fav creator is not being a weirdo in my dms lol)

But all of this while I have minor in my bio, I've told people not 18 or older, and repeatedly said I don't do nsfw content. Now if you don't know my age or that I don't do nsfw and you make an ask regarding it, that's alright, you didn't know! But if you've seen that minor in my bio and asked, bruhhh get the holy water cuz wotttt.

Now, that does not mean you absolutely have to tip-toe tf around me with certain topics. I turn eighteen next year and like many people my age, we make jokes and be silly about certain topics because haha funny. When it comes to situations like that, I don't care, I don't feel unsafe and nine times out of ten imma laugh because my sense of humor is broken.

Basically all my fandom friends are adults and I love them, they're very kind and respectful to me and I to them.

All I ask is that people be more mindful when sending in requests to anyone. Because I know I'm not the only one having this issue with people not checking req rules. Other creators are having the same issue and my heart goes out to them.

Again, if you are this anon and had no idea, don't worry, I'm not gonna hold that against you. But just let this be reminder to be mindful!

And again, don't freak out or feel like you have to coddle me like a newborn or whatever. Just be a cool person and be mindful!

And also just a disclaimer: if, for any reason, someone feels offended by this post. I am not attacking or going after anybody who consumes/posts nsfw content. That is literallyyyy none of my business what you do in your free time and I could give a leprechauns left nipple less about it LOL. This is just about what I'm receiving on my account.

okay im done now byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee love y'all <33

#personal #apologies in advanced for the texting thing #sorry if i have scarred any of u for life LOL

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saintmeghanmarkle · 1 month ago

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Lady C Tea YouTube 10/15/24 (a few nuggets paraphrased by me - The Meghan Markle IS A BULLY Edition) by u/daisybeach23

Lady C Tea YouTube 10/15/24 (a few nuggets paraphrased by me - The Meghan Markle IS A BULLY Edition) Greetings from Castle Goring,Lady C, what do you think about Mike Tindall’s recent comments that marrying into the Royal Family was easy? Do you think this was a subtle way to fight back? He is publishing a book. He had to recount how he was absorbed into the family. He was nice to them. They were nice to him. Everything went along swimmingly. Speaking the truth can be helpful. Speaking the truth is a duty. I don’t think this was a fight back but just speaking the truth, unlike a certain hustler who spends her life being a victim.Lady C, did you hear that Taylor Swift was granted Royal level security when she was here for her concerts? That has opened up the door for Harry to demand the same security. I heard Taylor Swift’s mother demanded this security because of the terror attack that had been planned in a prior country. I do not think this impacts Harry’s security in any way. His prior security will not be reinstated. It shows that the government is responsive and perhaps naïve but the people of Britain voted for current leadership, who was voted for in protest of the prior conservative leadership.Lady C, have you heard Meghan Markle is trying to change the narrative by saying she is the most bullied woman on the planet when in fact she is THE confirmed Bully? She is also THE Machiavellian. There is no doubt in my mind she is the most dreadful bully. She is a frowzy, uppity, non-entity who has deluded herself because she used horizonal talents to climb the ladder vertically. She succeeded in getting where she wanted and has cocked it up gloriously. How is she bullied on the Internet? Who is bullying her? I don’t see that. I see people calling her to account for her disgusting behavior. For the lies she has told. For her errant hypocrisy. For her flagrant contempt for all civilized rules that make society a better place. She is a power crazed hustler. She IS A BULLY. She has been declared by many as a narcissistic sociopath. Her conduct is truly offensive. Let’s wait and see what happens.Lady C, when was this fraudulent GoFundMe started? Does it coincide with when Meghan disappeared? Yes it does. It may be a coincidence as I am not prepared at this time to accuse anybody specifically. Why hasn’t GoFundMe called the Police? They have already confirmed to me that I did not set this up. Someone has attempted a very serious fraud. I am determined to bring those who attempted to destroy my reputation to account. I was naïve to start an account with them. I thought they were a reputable organization.More talk about Lady C and the GoFundMe scam and This Redditor is not going to post too much about until this topic until Lady C tells us the results of the investigation.Toodles Sinners! post link: https://ift.tt/k2q6mn8 author: daisybeach23 submitted: October 15, 2024 at 10:13PM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit disclaimer: all views + opinions expressed by the author of this post, as well as any comments and reblogs, are solely the author's own; they do not necessarily reflect the views of the administrator of this Tumblr blog. For entertainment only.

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nikethestatue · 9 months ago

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TW: sexual assault

I just need to vent. I saw a post today (and it’s been the case almost everyday this last week) of a certain Gwynriel posting about Gwyn’s SA and how she can have a sexual relationship. I know when Elriels even bridge this conversation we get destroyed and told we’re disgusting. I think there are obviously problematic takes on both sides of this and a lot of nuance. However, even when very informed people share their thoughts about this topic, that side goes into attack mode. Even when it’s sensitively handled, people get attacked. Even when it’s clearly stated nobody is saying Gwyn or survivors cannot have a healthy sexual relationship. Even when it’s stated this is just the opinion based on how Gwyn’s character is written and how challenging that book would be to write (and read) with power dynamics, etc.

Well today, I saw a post of a bigger Gwynriel saying that Gwyn is not a virgin and I am just…at a total loss. I sincerely do not know how this is not incredibly offensive, but people on the other side who say Gwyn is very traumatized and has severe concerns associated with her trauma, to the extent that this would be a highly triggering and complex book to write, are evil and offensive. How is it not extremely offensive for somebody to associate a violent sexual assault with a character not being a virgin!? R*pe is not consensual. It is not sex.

If this person is so upset and opposed to this dialogue, why discuss it all the time? Why bring this up every single day this week?

I’m sorry but it’s frustrating for us to be told we’re these evil and terrible people for saying that a character who is a survivor of sexual assault, who lives in a court-funded shelter for vulnerable women and can barely leave said shelter without 1. Permission and 2. High levels of anxiety and struggles to be around men, would have a more powerful story healing outside of sex and a man. It’s so frustrating that this is such an offensive take to them, but it’s fully acceptable to use this character’s sexual assault as a rationale for why she isn’t a virgin and can have a sexual relationship?? It’s fully acceptable to say that Gwyn is going to jump into a sexual relationship with bdsm involved when she hasn’t even expressed sexual interest in anybody? That’s acceptable?? But we’re the bad guys for pointing out Gwyn is uncomfortable around men and this would be a highly triggering book for so many actual, real-life women bc the book would have to deeply explore themes of intimacy after sexual trauma and have an on page first sexual experience after this?

Just because some people heal via sex and bdsm does not mean it would be and is healing to all people who have been through a similar experience.

There would have to be major disclaimers and trigger warnings to that book. And that’s something a lot of people just do not want to read. And that’s valid. I don’t want to read that, personally, either. And I want better for Gwyn’s character than for this to be the mechanism of her healing. For sex and a man, who witnessed this happen to her, and is in a position of authority and has power over her, to be that vessel of her healing.

Idk - it just seems like there is ownership of this topic on that side. I’ve seen posts accusing us of not being survivors when statistically we know this isn’t true and is again, insensitive. There is just so much nuance that is missed. People respond to trauma differently and some characters are written with more symptoms than others. If it’s somehow acceptable to say Gwyn isn’t a virgin (when as far as we know the only experience she has had was non-consensual), but it’s unacceptable to say her character, who is written as highly traumatized, may need more time and her healing in this regard not happen on page after the last book where we left her struggling to leave the library to go to Nesta’s mating ceremony, idk what to even say.

It really feels like some people in this fandom are absolved of accountability and can say horribly offensive things but it’s ok bc they’re gwynriels. How is that compassionate towards a character you claim to care about?

And using Rhys and Lucien as a rationale for why this is possible is just…not even a justifiable comparison. There is so much nuance to this and again, everyone recovers and responds differently. Rhys and Lucien can be around women comfortably. Rhys and Lucien can be in public spaces. Gwyn will get there, but not bc of a man. But bc of her own strength and fortitude in her recovery.

All of this nuance is why I think it would be difficult to write this story sensitively. I guess in summary, of course Gwyn can have a sexual relationship. I don’t think anybody has said otherwise, as far as I have seen. It’s the timing and nature of these spinoffs that make it difficult to give this story the justice it deserves. And I argue that there is nothing offensive about believing that. But there is something highly offensive about saying Gwyn isn’t a virgin when we know her only sexual experience to have been non-consensual.

Sorry. I needed to get that out.

I agree with everything you said, Anon. I think, overall, Gwynriels are so consumed by this ship, the overwhelming NEED for the ship to happen that they fail to see the optics of the ship.

In general, Gwyn wasn't written to be in any ship, at least as it was written in ACOSF, Gwyn wasn't written to be a LI to any many, let alone Azriel. Her whole history was made up for SJM for one purpose, to put her in the Library and make her a friend to Nesta.

This utter misunderstanding and misappropriation of her character by GAs leads to all these very charged and uncomfortable conversations. The issue isnt that she is ready or not ready, or that people in RL ready or arent ready for sexual relations -- it's that she wasn't WRITTEN as a character who was meant to be having any sex with anyone. She isn't going to be tying Azriel up with the ribbon in the Library, or having BDSM sex with him, because again, she was written as a Valkyrie and a friend to Nesta.

That's why the infamous bonus was so sexually charged in the beginning, and then completely lacking in any sexuality in the second part. The sexual potential, the attraction,the desire were firmly set up with elriel. NOT Gwynriel. That's why Azriel wouldn't touch her, that's why there is an underlining theme of him being her teacher, being an 'opponent' to overcome (aka cut the ribbon), and her not being interested in him.

It's not 'oh evil Eriels don't want Gwyn to have sex!!! because they hate women with SA!' (we've all heard this nonsense). We don't give a fuck, frankly, if Gwyn has sex. What we DO understand is how characters and interactions are written. If Elain is extremely uncomfortable with Lucien, we are not going to twist and write 50K metas about how she is secretly pining for him. Sometimes, things are stated with specific intention. Same with Gwyn and Azriel and Gwyn and men--SJM isn't going there, because it's not a place she needs to be as a writer and that's not where her story is going. The setup is Elriel. That's it. It's not us. It's the author, who didn't write Gwyn as a LI. That's it.

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gayelectro · 1 year ago

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Thirst: A Ten Year Retrospective

On June 7th, 2013, at 7:30 PM, The Hub Network aired Transformers Prime’s 60th episode. Title: Thirst. Just five episodes before the conclusion of the series (and a post-series “movie”), the last few episodes of any serialized show can have a lot weighing on them, as you need to wrap up story threads in a satisfying fashion.

For me though, Thirst missed the mark. Pretty hard.

When this episode aired, I hated it. And when posting my grievances on Tumblr, I was met with a lot of backlash. This naturally compounded the hatred I ended up brewing for this episode, as I felt as though couldn’t even talk about it with people without hearing some seriously stupid counterpoints or outright attacks to my character over not liking an episode of a children’s cartoon to sell toys.

Well, a lot of time has passed since then. It’s been a decade and I want to lay this whole thing to rest. I was 16 and still in high school when it aired, and now I’m a whole ass married 26 year old adult with a job. So I feel that getting all of my thoughts and feelings out, while also reflecting on how the Transformers fandom (and myself) have changed, might finally quell this beast for good. Aiming for the spark, as it were.

Skip the readmore if you don’t want to encounter a genuinely and insanely long post full of rambling and Transformers media consumption.

Naturally, disclaimers, because this is the internet.

Don’t go and read this and give any guff to anyone who worked on this episode or in Transformers Prime in general. I shouldn’t have to say this. Even as I speculate over what writer’s intentions or unconscious biases were back in 2013, it still gives nobody any reason to find these people and bother them. I’m allowed to criticize a show but I see no need for anybody to send shit to people who were likely just trying to get their paycheck from Hasbro.

Another disclaimer: I don’t have any problem with people who like or love this episode. I have friends who do. And I can see what positive points about it shine out for them. But I’m still allowed to have differing feelings about it and express them. At the crux of it, I think it’s just that simple. Everybody should be able to coexist within a fandom and deal with someone not liking your favorite episode or someone loving an episode you hate.

And I think one last disclaimer: the fact is that a lot of my anger towards this episode is partially baked in due to immediate fandom reactions at the time of release and my own disappointment in the episode not being what I hoped it to be. I’m going to dissect that where possible in this post. But fundamentally, I just don’t understand people who are like “you can’t hold it against a piece of media for not being what you wanted it to be” in regards to being misled. There’s a vast difference between letting fan theories get in the way of the author’s intent and being misled due to the way something is advertised. And while yes, the show isn’t to blame for how the fandom reacted to the episode, it still leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. How could it not? Human brains are wired for pattern recognition. How am I supposed to forget the way I was treated for not liking this episode? How am I supposed to be objective about this short of amnesia to experience the episode for the first time all over again?

Anyways, now that that’s out of the way, let’s dive in!

Now let it be known that I was thrilled for this episode. I was an avid Transformers Prime watcher. I made a whole event around every new episode airing. And I watched the promos like a hawk. I was obsessed with Transformers Prime when it was airing and convinced that it was a masterpiece. Truly, the apex of Transformers media.

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So, the promotions really emphasized the zombie aspect of this episode, with a sneak peak at what they would look like. I don’t consider myself a horror fan by any means, I’ve always been squeamish and jumpy, but I think there’s an aspect of horror that lends itself to the curious mind. I wanted this episode to be scary. Knowing the Y-7 rating, I knew that this was going to be horror that likely fell within my comfort zone while also possibly pushing the envelope a bit. After all, Samurai Jack creator Genndy Tartakovsky had spoken at length about how much violence he could get under the radar in kid’s TV by having all of the “gore” be robots and aliens. I assumed that this episode was going to do much of the same.

Let me get it out of the way right now, one good thing about Thirst is the “zombicon” designs. I think they’re great. Personally would not change a thing about them, they’re pretty darn perfect.

But, being a weenie, I did try my hardest to steel myself against what the episode might throw at me. I was expecting the absolute worst they could get away with in regards to robot gore and violence and jumpscares. I wanted this episode to be scary. Sure, Y-7 scary, but still scary. I probably expected too much, given that I didn’t understand why shows stuck so hard to just 22 minute time slots at the time. But I was an easily startled kid, I figured they could still deliver... And, well... I just didn’t get that at all.

More or less, the episode rips itself into pieces. If one is being generous, about 1/3rd of the episode is veering on horror. But 2/3rds of the runtime are easily just comedic slapstick and banter between Knock Out and Starscream. While this is fine, it certainly wasn’t to my taste and was a let down. This episode obviously really really wanted to be funny and Decepticon focused. And while it was the only episode of Prime to not have a single Autobot in it, I still found its humor to be. Well.

Now, a tangent:

The writers and this series relationship with its queer-coded characters is complex and strange, to say the least. While I do love and appreciate a gay villain, it’s still very telling that the most flamboyant and clearly gay acting characters are Decepticons. Starscream in his literal stiletto heels and effeminate shrieks, Knock Out with his foppish behavior and just about everything said behind the scenes about him... It’s undeniable that they’re intended to be read as gay and it feels as though it varies from episode to episode whether them being gay is supposed to be humorous, relatable, or dastardly.

Thirst definitely feels like... The worst of this to me.

I’m going to focus more on Knock Out, just because he’s realistically more near and dear to my heart. But the fact is, I saw myself in these characters growing up. I was a young queer with no representation in the media I enjoyed. So of course I would cling to the gay, sexy robot. Regardless of if writers wanted him to be someone the audience saw themselves in, I did.

Of course, I believe at this point that everyone is familiar with “The Botcon Incident”.

[ALT TEXT : When asked at BotCon 2011, the Prime writers said that there is no designation for gay, or straight, for that matter, on Cybertron, where Transformers are created by the AllSpark, not through sexual reproductions. They also said that Knock Out is a knock out, and that the Nemesis is a very "don't ask, don't tell" place. And then they jokingly deflected the matter, claiming that Knock Out's mannerisms are not caused by any particular orientation, but are simply eccentricities caused by "a glitch in the AllSpark" the day he was created... which is unintentionally so insulting to gay people that it could create an awkward silence in the Void. ]

On one hand, Knock Out acting gay is seen as a defect. A mistake or some sort of source of humor. At the same time, there was still a lot of love given to him by the writers. In panels, they’ve expressed that they refused to let Knock Out be killed off (regardless of if any other character lived or died). Part of this was because he was really the big “original” character for the show, but part of it also definitely has to be some sort of genuine love for the character, I think.

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So, it’s a weird act to juggle as a queer fan, right? The writers loved Knock Out but it feels like they still wanted to poke and jeer about how gay he was (without even really confirming him to be gay, but we can all admit he acts gay and that’s WEIRD, am I right guys).

To wrap around to Thirst: I feel like this is part of why I don’t find as much humor in the slapstick Knock Out/Starscream moments in the episode as other fans do. This feels like the most brazen and obvious part of it: the humor in the episode feels like it comes from a place of “how funny would it be to make the fags run around the ship screaming their heads off”.

By season three, the animation in this show became so beautiful and utterly expressive. And that’s a great thing. But the level to which they pushed Knock Out and Starscream’s run cycles was just... Like I get it, it’s funny when scared gay person does a silly effeminate run. Not to mention how these characters have established run cycles, we’ve seen them run before, no, in this episode they flail about helplessly because it’s sooooooo funny.

I do feel like there were undercurrents of homophobia in this show. It released in 2013 and thus was probably written back in 2012. To act like the writers room was completely devoid of the influences of homophobia would be absurd. I’m not saying that the episode is explicitly homophobic, nor that it’s homophobic to put gay characters in horror scenarios, nor that everyone who worked on Transformers Prime is a homophobe. But I am saying that this show was a product of its time, and 2012 was a very homophobic time, and that I think we can talk about that without assuming the worst in those bringing it up or the worst in everybody who worked on the media in question. Multiple things can be true at once. I just want to talk about how the vibes are off, man, it feels a little gay bash-y.

Part of what I’m trying to describe here is, to put it another way, would this episode have worked the way it did with any other characters being at the forefront? Thirst, but with say, Shockwave and Soundwave? Airachnid and Megatron? Or Arcee and Bulkhead? Or Ratchet and Wheeljack? However you switch this episode around, I’m almost positive the characters’ mere presence would not be treated as inherently comedic into itself. It feels very telling that this was a Knock Out and Starscream episode, because Knock Out and Starscream are the most obviously queer-coded characters.

Getting off of that tangent which I’m sure has already turned the few readers of this away, let me get back more into the meat of this retrospective.

Another thing that infuriated me about fan reception to this episode is that a lot of fans reduced everything to shipping wars. If there’s something that’s really changed with time in the Transformers fandom, thank fuck it’s the shipping culture. A decade ago, any and all issues I had with this episode got reduced to “You’re a KO/BD shipper and you’re angry because this episode had KO/SS moments”. To this day, I cannot express how such a dismissive and us vs. them attitude makes me see fucking red! If anything, the fan’s combative nature is what made me come to dislike KO/SS as a ship-- not the other way around.

The fact is, the banter between Knock Out and Starscream is entertaining. I do like that aspect of the episode. When they open up to one another in the bunker, it’s a really sweet moment! We have two Decepticons being vulnerable and open with each other, which is a rarity, given how cold living on the Nemesis is! It was a genuinely touching moment that gave us insight into both Knock Out and Starscream as individuals, which I really did enjoy.

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The way they speak to each other throughout the episode is actually one of the things that makes me wish I could come back to this episode more (and hopefully now I can). It’s telling how they can open up to one another only to immediately throw each other under the bus the very next moment. It speaks to the Decepticon’s culture.

But anywho, there was also just the... Blatant ignoring of what actually was said in the episode to fit an agenda. Ardent “only-one-ship-may-rule” KO/SS fans insisted that Knock Out’s behavior in this episode ““proved”“ that he didn’t care about Breakdown. This thankfully has died off overtime in the fandom, now that more people can accept multiple ships coexisting in peace instead of making conflict where there doesn’t need to be any.

But even if we take shipping out of the equation entirely, you have to be either not listening or willingly deluding yourself if you think that any of Knock Out’s actions in this episode are showing that he did not care about Breakdown, regardless of if you think that relationship was lovers, friends, or just close coworkers.

“Despite your justifiable lack of regard for his human side, it doesn’t trouble you to watch what remains of your former partner endure your scientific endeavors?” “Not really. Besides, Silas once had poor Breakdown pinned to his lab table. I think my former partner would be pleased to be a part.”

This was the big exchange that really got under people’s skin. Watching it live, I loved this reaction from Knock Out. It spoke to what a sadist that he was and how he went about extracting revenge. He saw the perfect bookending of stories; Silas experimented on Breakdown, so it was only fit for Knock Out to experiment on Silas. Just as Silas had used Breakdown’s corpse as a suit to trounce around in, Knock Out would treat his body just as such. Just a shell, not any remnant of the soul that was once inside.

But certain people just heard the deadpan “not really” and just stopped listening. Like, I’m sorry, but these guys are alien robots. They probably already don’t have exactly the same feelings around corpse desecration as we do, and even if they did, Knock Out is kind of a freak anyways.

And once again, when I saw this episode, I was single. Now I’m married. I can see even more now how love can push you to weird, freakish, even ghoulish extremes. I personally could think of hardly anything more romantic than my wife torturing and experimenting on someone who wronged me. And I certainly wouldn’t be kind to someone for wearing her face in the event of her passing.

And the line “You’re no Breakdown” got wildly misinterpreted too. Somehow people thought that meant that Breakdown was “lesser” than Starscream, which... What? How? Like it’s obvious that Knock Out is contrasting his former relationship to Breakdown to the relationship he has to Starscream here. Starscream and Breakdown are vastly different people, that’s not to say anything about shipping. Once again, even if you only see Breakdown as Knock Out’s assistant, his relationship to Starscream is still vastly different to his relationship with Breakdown. Starscream is his superior officer whereas Breakdown is either on the same rung as him or a step lower. This is not a value judgement on either ship! It’s just basic chemistry and writing! One of them is a quiet brute while the other is a commanding fruit. I’m not understanding how this could lift up or put down either ship, so to see people do that (admittedly on both sides of this stupid fucking ship war) was just aggravating.

Once again, I can’t stress enough how by and large, the fandom’s attitude has shifted away from that bullshit. I see people gleefully talk about shipping all three of them together or just shipping their own favorite thing without needing to bring the other ship into it at all in an adversarial way. It’s great. Wish that could’ve been here all along. I could only imagine the kind of blood that would have been shed if someone had conducted the Transformers Husband Poll or Canon Ship Poll back in 2013, but now people can just have a good time with things the way we’re supposed to.

And then we get to the part where I actually take issue with the writing of the episode itself, regardless to fandom reaction.

Airachnid.

Okay, so can we finally talk about this part? Because when I took issue with this when the episode aired, I got a lot of “wait and see, they still have time to do something with this”. Which. No they fucking didn’t. They opened up like five new plot points, for no reason, right at the end of the series, and then did not follow up on them at all.

I can’t wrap my head around this, even now. Why did they even take this character out of stasis? They fridged her before only to let her out for five minutes to fridge her again. This is so absurdly stupid, like I still cannot even find a silver lining to this part.

Airachnid having a hoard of zombie Insecticons on one of Cybertron’s moons did not even get a mention for the rest of the series.

What was the point of this? Legitimately, was there some sort of reason they needed to write out the Insecticons so badly? They hadn’t really been important in any regard for a long time. At that point in the show, they were barely a step above Vehicons when it came to being Decepticon cannon fodder. Was there any reason to make Airachnid extra dead with more steps? Because this doesn’t provide more closure than her already piss poor exit from the show with her being in stasis, frozen in a pod, as a trophy for Megatron.

Nothing, and I mean nothing, would have changed for the rest of Prime if Airachnid had stayed frozen in her pod and the Insecticons stayed aboard the Nemesis. I can’t think up a defense for this, I can’t conjure up an explanation, just... Why? I’m still left feeling like this was fucking strange. Maybe someone’s femdom hypnosis vampire queen fetish, I can’t fucking tell.

Now that the series is over, I’m hoping at least people can acknowledge that this was pointless, stupid, and just unnecessary. Or at least give me any reason why this isn’t the dumbest thing ever. Because this was the big thing in the actual canon of the episode that made me go “wow, that was an awful episode”.

And while I’m still left scratching my head over that, I do feel... Relieved. The more I think it over, the more I can see how the fandom has changed for the better in a lot of respects. And upon rewatching this episode, I can better see the parts that I actually like. Sure, some shit still bothers me, but I do feel better about it now.

And of course, watching Prime as it airs at 16 is a very different experience than trying to rewatch it... Basically any time once you hit your 20s. I still love Prime, but I’m older now and can see its flaws, especially since we’ve got the whole story to work with. I still recommend Prime as a starting point to people with certain tastes who wanna get into Transformers. But doing a full rewatch of the series for me is a chore now due to some of the glaring writing issues and pacing. It’s a good show, but not the pinnacle of Transformers media I used to think of it as. And that’s okay! Tempered expectations help a lot with disappointment.

With something like ten years, a lot has changed in the Transformers franchise. We now have a plethora of canon queer characters and relationships, all treated with respect. We have a nonbinary Autobot in a children’s cartoon, and I know that would have changed my world as a kid if I had grown up with that. And while it sucks that my favorite character in Transformers Prime, Breakdown, got killed off so unceremoniously, so many continuities after that have tried to make up for it by having him survive and thrive.

Another positive note is the way my feelings for this episode have impacted my real life.

Back when my wife was still just my girlfriend, I ranted and raved to her about how much I hated this episode. How stupid it was. How it was the worst episode of the whole show. Back then, she had no interest in any media pertaining to robots, let alone Transformers. But something about how passionate that got me made her curious. She checked out Thirst, and concluded that if that was the worst the Transformers Prime had to offer, then it might be a pretty good show overall. She ended up watching Prime, and with that gateway, I was able to get her to watch and enjoy more Transformers media. Which lead to more robot media as a whole. Now we have so many more fandoms and shows that we enjoy together, all because my hate boner for this episode piqued her interest! Sharing my love of robots with my wife has been a wonderful facet of our relationship and I simply don’t know how we would have gotten there without this entry way!

All of this to say... I think after ten years, maybe this isn’t the worst episode of the series. I can’t be bothered with a whole rewatch to find out, as the episodes that bore me aren’t ones that I’d bother to watch again just to rate. The shit with Airachnid was mind-achingly stupid and maybe some of the slapstick hasn’t aged the best, but otherwise it just is what it is. I liked Silas dying, I liked the character interactions we got between Starscream and Knock Out, I always adore Darren Norris’ performance as Knock Out and this episode does wonders to show off his skill (“Precisely my-- WHAT”), and the zombie designs were pretty baller.

I thank this episode for what it’s given to me, I’m going to let go of the ghosts of fandom’s past, and now I set it all free.

Here’s the whole episode on Youtube, TFwiki just links these if they’re available, apparently.

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#long post //#Transformers Prime #Thirst #TFP #Transformers Prime Thirst #TFP Thirst #Breakdown #Airachnid #Knock Out #Starscream #Silas #CYLAS #mentions of homophobia #f slur warning #I cannot stress enough how long and rambling this is so don't say I didn't warn you

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buggybeesh · 5 months ago

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why mysticcacao is bad

DISCLAIMER: DO NOT ATTACK ME OR ANYBODY WHO SHIPS THIS BAD SHIP, I AM ONLY EDUCATING PEOPLE ON WHY THIS IS NOT A GOOD SHIP!!! /srs

ANOTHER DISCLAIMER: IF YOU HAVE NOT PLAYED THE EPISODE 3 STORY IN BEAST YEAST, THEN THIS IS MOST DEFINITELY SPOILERS SO BE AWARE!!!

Why this is actually the most downright stinkiest ship to ever grace upon earthbread is because of the reasons I’m going to tell you.

Mystic Flour basically made Dark Cacao very afraid of her by basically killing everyone he loved by returning them to flour (such as Caramel Arrow, Crunchy Chip, and the rest of his dark cacao warriors) leaving dark cacao all alone in the fog with nobody but himself. (and in a nutshell, dating someone who is murdering everyone you love and wants to murder YOU is abuse!)

I’m also pretty sure that she weakened his power as well like to carry his sword (which I remind you has his SOUL JAM on it) and he also told dark cacao to return to flour (which is basically telling him to crumble himself)

I know this is a small rant, but this is my opinion on why this is not a very good ship.

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morguevampire · 2 years ago

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(Un) Fortunate Encounters -Chapter 2

Chapter One

Masterlist for this fic

summary: After being questioned by the FBI about an accidental interaction with a wanted criminal you thought your life would go back to being as mundane as it has always been. How wrong you were to think you could just go back to normal when come the next day you would find yourself being bound to a chair in a fucking warehouse.

warnings/tags: fluff, smut, angst, mentions of kidnapping, mentions of torture, drinking, mild alcoholism, dark themes, slow build romance, not really Stockholm syndrome but that’s up for interpretation

chapter: 2/?

word count: 2.938k

pairings: Helmut Zemo x fem!Reader

author’s note: Right folks - time for chapter two!

Note that this will be a very slow build at the beginning, meaning actual interaction with Helmut Zemo will probably only start in chapter four. (I do hope you will find it worth it) Currently already working on chapter three as well - so please be patient.

My personal disclaimer as always is that I am not an englisch native and will therefore most likely make some mistakes. Please don't hesitate to contact me should I have messed up.

Anyhow, I hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think so far! Kudos and comments are always appreciated.

Muchos besos, mis amores <3

You can also find this work on https://archiveofourown.org/works/43158162/chapters/108466263

The second time you wake up that morning (or is it midday..., perhaps even afternoon?) you’re not in your apartment anymore. Instead you find yourself tied to a chair in a dark room in some kind of warehouse. It’s quiet, aside from the pounding inside your head. An eerie feeling is settling over you, becoming more intense as your mind tries to grasp what happened, how you ended up here. Your first instinct is to scream but there’s duct tape covering your mouth. You shut your eyes again, wishing for this to be a terrible nightmare. You try to wiggle out of your bounds, unsuccessfully. Whoever dragged you here knows stuff about bondage and you’re too much of a weakling to get them off anyways. Panic starts settling in and it all only becomes worse once you hear footsteps echoing from afar. It must be him. Zemo probably discovered the FBI were onto him and now needs to get rid of the woman who made the mistake of running into him. But why not just kill you immediately? Why drag you to a dodgy warehouse? He seems to not care about the loss of innocent lives anyways, considering the attack on the UN building. Your thoughts are interrupted by two man coming out of the shadows. Both of them most definitely not being Zemo but perhaps associates? They look quite scary – that’s for sure. Tall, bulky and extremely angry looking. You begin to squirm in your chair once again. Not quite sure what to hope for, even if you ran, there would be no guaranty that you could get out alive.

“So, the bitch finally woke up.” One of the men, the slightly shorter one with the dirty blond hair huffed.

The other man steps up towards you, his finger already on the left end of the duct tape covering your mouth.

“Listen now, it’s of no use to anybody if you scream once I remove this. We’re in the middle of nowhere. Nobody’s going to hear you and we simply want to ask you a few questions. Understood?”

You can’t bear looking into his eyes, your whole body is shaking while you slightly nod. Tears already burning in your eyes. You wanted to throw up, or pee your pants or whatever the fuck people do when they are scared shitless.

Ripping off the duct tape is painful but if only you knew how much more painful this whole “questioning” would become.

“Alright. If you want this to be over quickly, be a good girl and answer me this simple question:” The taller one inquires while scooting another chair in front of you. The other man is off somewhere out of the corner of your eye, the only thing you can make out is water running into a bucket and the air becoming even more humid than before.

“Where is Helmut Zemo?”

Your eyes widen. Not understanding this situation at all. Were they not here in duty of the Baron? Were they FBI as well? The bad cops? The really bad, desperate ruthless ones? You shake your head no. Frantically trying to explain that you had no idea where he was. That you were just a normal, boring person who had a 9 to 5 and never did anything illegal in her life, besides maybe underage drinking in high school. You simply ran into Helmut Zemo without even knowing and you already got questioned by the FBI. You knew about the man as much as the media would report on him and you had zero ties to the avengers or anybody associated with him.

You could tell the man opposite of you was annoyed. Shaking his head and shushing you.

“See, we know the FBI already questioned you and we don’t work like the FBI. We don’t need those rules. And you won’t be able to pull off your I-know-nothing bullshit with us. You either tell us his whereabouts or this is going to be a looooong night, darling.”

That’s when the other man appeared again. Carrying a huge bucket with water. You gulped as he untied your legs from the chair, forcing you to your knees, which sent a wave of pain through your body as they made contact with the cold, hard concrete floor. You’ve read about water torture and all you wanted to do - in prospect of what you feared was about to happen - was scream and cry for your mum.

“I swear. Please I swear that I do not have any connection to Zemo. I don’t know him, I haven’t even talked to him. I bumped into him on accident. Plea...”

You begged but to no avail as suddenly a sharp pain shot through your already aching head as you were pulled by your hair and forcefully dipped underwater. You didn’t have any time to get air into your lungs, so water got into every available opening in your face, burning up your nose and your windpipes. At least the desperation to breath distracted you from how cold the water was. After too long but probably about only half a minute your head was pulled out again and immediately the questions shot out of the man again, while you were desperately trying to breath and at the same time not suffocate on the water you swallowed. Water in your ears made everything sound dull but you could still clearly tell the questions were still about Helmut Zemo. Only this time you didn’t even manage to properly reply in the negative before your head was underwater again.

This continued on for quite a while. Everything hurt and burnt and every time your head was out of the water you could feel hot tears on your face while sobs and violent coughs were wrecking through your body. This was worse than anything you had ever experienced in your life. You didn’t know what to do. You didn’t have any information. If you did you would give it away immediately. You just wanted the pain and suffering to go away. You wanted it to stop. To go home and hide forever and never set a foot out of your apartment again.

You could tell the two men were becoming more and more frustrated with you as well. Throwing around vile curse words and yanking you even more forcefully in and out of the bucket. You stopped counting how many times you got dunked but at one point the taller man must have had enough of your lack of knowledge about Zemo, so that he decided punching you right in the face might help bring your memories back. You felt blood running down your cheek and dripping into the bucket, giving the water a light pink taint.

If your head hadn’t exploded just yet, you figured now might just be a good time. You honestly just wanted to die. What did it matter anyways? You didn’t know shit about Zemo and you certainly wouldn’t recover from the trauma, if you ever made it out alive from this shithole.

At least after the forceful punch to your left eye the water torture stopped and the hand pulling up your head dropped. Like a sack of potatoes, you slumped on your side, silently wailing in a fetus position while the two men whispered to each other.

Some time passed until a kick in your rips forced you out of your pain induced delusion.

“Right darling. We’ll give you one more chance. You tell us where the fuck Helmut Zemo is hiding and we’ll let you go.”

He knelt down in front of you, snarling into your face while forcefully holding your chin in his hands, twisting your head into an uncomfortable position. “But…, if you don’t speak up now, we really do have no other option but to use other, more painful measures.” The hand grabbing your chin was replaced by the barrel of a gun.

You completely froze. You knew this was it. Perhaps making something up would work but they’d find you anyways, knowing you bullshitted them and death seemed like a sweet release at this point. You wondered when the phenomena of “the light at the end of the tunnel / your life flashing behind your eyes in seconds” would set in but just as you were about to mumble that you really did not know anything and maybe plead one last time to let you go, a gunshot rang through the building.

It seemed like everything stopped for a milli-second until there was a scream from the shorter man and suddenly another gunshot.

It got unpleasantly quiet. You shut your eyes, no thoughts ran through your head except that death didn’t feel any different. The pain was still there, you still felt the cold floor under your body and you could smell the blood dripping from your face. In a way you were disappointed, you thought dying would relieve you of everything. You were never a religious person, but you did believe that death felt like floating. A numb floating, no negative feelings, yet also no positive ones. Just aimless floating.

When you once again heard steps coming towards you, you realized that perhaps you weren’t even dead. You opened your eyes just to come face to face with your kidnapper, his lifeless eyes staring right at you. He must have been shot and has fallen right in front of you. Blood was still oozing out of his body and you could slowly feel it running towards your lying form, soaking the thin cloth of your pajamas.

The footsteps were definitely descending from somewhere now, getting closer. You decided to shut your eyes again, too afraid to see who else decided to have their way with you. You’ve already kind of made peace with the fact that you were going to die and you made the decision to simply not look into your murderer’s eyes once it happens.

The louder the footsteps became the more panic rushed through your body. It surprised you that only then an anxiety attack would overtake you. It suddenly felt hard to breath and a wave of ugly sobs rushed through your aching ribcage. You felt almost pathetic, silently stuttering “please, please, please…” over and over again. Your ears were ringing, still abused from all the water but you picked up the sound of the new intruder dragging the dead man’s body away from you, most likely to get a better shot at you.

Your shaking from barely registered the gentle touch of a hand running over your shoulder. “Shhh, hey…”

You opened your eyes abruptly, recognizing the deep, raspy voice with the accent even though you’ve only heard it once in your life. It was him. Definitely. In a long grey trench coat with a fur collar framing his masked face. He took off the purple disguise before continuing.

“It’s alright. You’re ok. You’re safe now.”

Helmut Zemo was kneeling in front of you, a golden gun right next to his knee. Looking down with furrowed, worried brows on your miserable, hurt form.

Your mind was still trying to make sense of it all but you came to no conclusion as you slowly drifted out of consciousness once again.

#Helmut Zemo #Zemo #Helmut Zemo x Reader #Helmut Zemo & Reader #Helmut Zemo fanction #Zemo fanfiction #MCU #Helmut Zemo x you #Helmut Zemo/Reader #Baron Zemo x reader #TFAWS

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fallynleaf · 1 year ago

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I'm trying to get my wrestling journal caught up, and am succeeding with mixed results. I wrote over 10k words on stuff from July alone, 4k of which were just about AEW Blood & Guts on July 19 (the Golden Lovers' first match back together since 2018). I've been toying with the thought of publishing that piece somewhere where people might actually read it, so I thought why not post it here?

(The usual disclaimer on my journal applies: please don't reprint any of these translations, as they're pretty rough and I haven't gotten them looked over by anyone.)

Kenny Omega & Kota Ibushi & “Hangman” Adam Page & Matt Jackson & Nick Jackson vs Konosuke Takeshita & Jon Moxley & Claudio Castagnoli & Wheeler Yuta & Pac

July 19

I’m at a loss of words to describe this match. Unfortunately, I’m at a loss of images, too. There is nothing I can put in this space that’ll do proper justice to the emotions I felt watching this. But I’ll try.

I don’t think Blood & Guts was the right match format for this story. There are simply too many moving pieces, too many distractions, too much for the cameras to keep up with. But pro wrestling teaches us to see things not as they are, but as they feel, so I will talk about how this match felt.

The feud between The Elite and the Blackpool Combat Club started a long time ago. So long ago that I can’t even pin down an exact start date in my memory. I suppose in some way, it started in the closing moments of the very first AEW show, when Mox made his surprise debut and breathed in his first taste of freedom, stained with Kenny’s blood.

Kenny vs Mox is such old history for AEW, it’s practically primordial. It’s in the company’s DNA.

Like many great wrestling feuds, there’s an ideological disagreement at the heart of this one, a disagreement concerning the fundamental nature of professional wrestling. More than anything, though, it’s about love.

Bryan Danielson said as much in the promo he cut on April 5 after the Blackpool Combat Club attacked Hangman on Dynamite. Interestingly, in this promo, Bryan seems to draw an equivalence between love and true professional wrestling. He treats them as one and the same. He talks about loving Mox, Claudio, and Yuta, whom he goes on to describe as “professionals” in contrast to the Elite, who are “amateurs”, and who don’t have love, or even understand the concept of it.

To Hangman, he says: “And I love these men! I love these men! Do you know what? You don’t have anybody who loves you. Is anybody coming out from the back? No! Not a damn person! ‘Cause nobody loves this man! In fact, they don’t even know what love is! But I know what love is. In fact, when I’ve been at home, I’ve been teaching my kids a few things. A few things about how to fix up your house. And I think the house that is AEW needs to be fixed up. From all these amateurs.”

The house metaphor immediately caught my attention. It reminded me of an extended metaphor that Hangman employed in his monologue from episode 204 of Being The Elite, which was released on May 18, 2020, and which to this day remains one of the few pieces of art about the pandemic that I can actually tolerate. In his metaphor, he compares AEW to a house, and The Elite are both in the house and they are the house.

In Hangman’s own words: “I nearly won the prestigious ‘Man of the House’ award in May. I’d teamed up with our broom to clean the house better than anyone had ever swept it before. And I feel like I might have been starting to… patch up the holes of the walls of the house. The walls that made the house what it was in the first place.”

The Man of the House award is his failed attempt to become AEW World Champion in May 2019. Teaming up with the broom refers to his tag team with Kenny and their 6-star tag title match with the Young Bucks, which was considered by many people to be the best tag match in history. And the Elite are the walls. He’s talking about the slow, tentative process of repairing his relationship with the faction that quite literally made AEW.

I suppose in a very literal sense, The Elite are in AEW and also are AEW, in the sense that they’re the “Elite” in “All Elite Wrestling”. Hangman’s mixed metaphor is only as messy as reality.

The “AEW as a house” metaphor came up again two years later, on May 25, 2022, in a now infamous promo segment building up to Hangman vs CM Punk at Double or Nothing, where, with just two words, Hangman unknowingly set off a chain of events that would end up almost tearing the entire company apart, though no one realized it at the time.

He tells Punk: “You talk a big game about workers rights, yeah? Well, you’ve shown the exact opposite since you’ve gotten here. I love this place! I care about this place! This is my home! And this Sunday at Double or Nothing, I will not, I will not be defending this championship against you. No, for the first time in my life, I will be defending All Elite Wrestling from you.”

And Punk tells him: “Win, lose, or draw, I respect you, Hangman. But remember, those roads you traveled to get here? They were paved by me. This house that you built? It was constructed with lumber from trees that I chopped down. The world you traveled to get here, to create All Elite Wrestling, happened because I gave you the blueprint.”

Hangman fails to defend the championship against Punk. And in the months that follow, he fails to defend All Elite Wrestling from Punk, too. The philosophical divide was so true to reality and so exquisitely foreshadowed that it caused me to initially assume that the rumored backstage altercation between Punk and The Elite was part of an intricate work that connected back to this very promo. I was more right than I knew, but I didn’t know that the reason for the connection was not because it was a well-planned story, but because the conflict at the center of the story was real.

AEW is the house that Hangman built, and Punk says that it was made with lumber from trees that he chopped down. In saying so, he takes credit for The Elite’s work and implies that without them, he could simply fill the space left by their absence on his own.

But can he? Can anyone? Can there be an All Elite Wrestling without The Elite, or would the whole building crumble without its walls? For a few months in late 2022, we got to experience AEW without The Elite. It was not a particularly encouraging time for the company.

Which brings us here, to 2023. Bryan Danielson says that the house that is AEW needs to be fixed up. He doesn’t think the Elite can compare to the Blackpool Combat Club, not in terms of love or in terms of pro wrestling.

I’ll admit, when Bryan said that The Elite don’t even know what love is, I laughed. Kenny Omega has centered his entire wrestling career around love, to the point where “A Wrestling Love Story” is in the title of his documentary. I once heard someone sum him up by saying “in pro wrestling, you can choose to be whatever you want to be, and Kenny Omega chose to be in love.”

Before he beat Kazuchika Okada to win the IWGP Heavyweight Championship in 2018 in what is widely considered to be the best match of his career, Kenny said: “I’m not saying that I’m arriving to this arena with a bunch of new moves, but I am saying that this version of Kenny Omega might be the most prepared. And a big part of that is because I’ve let someone back into my life that I cared about, that I loved, and that together with that power, we can’t lose.”

He says basically the same thing outside of kayfabe as well. In his documentary, he credits Kota’s support as being essential for preparing him physically and emotionally so that he’d be ready to pour his heart out in a match that he knew was going to last over an hour. Many of the hard lessons that his character had to learn about the pain of isolation and loneliness, and the redemptive power of love, are things that Kenny himself had struggled with.

In 2018, Kenny once gestured to Chuck Taylor and Trent Beretta, the Best Friends, and said “This is what friendship looks like.” Then he put his arm around Kota and said, “And this is what love looks like.” This is a man who knows what love is. He knows the pain of love as keenly as he knows the triumph and the sweetness of it.

In a way, I think of Kota not coming with Kenny to AEW as sort of the original heartbreak. It’s there in the background subtext of the entire major arc of AEW’s first chapter. It’s an unhealed wound that only leads to more hurt as time goes on.

Which brings us to Blood & Guts. The Blackpool Combat Club and The Elite are both lacking a 5th member for the match. The BCC has Jon Moxley, Claudio Castagnoli, and Wheeler Yuta, but not Bryan Danielson (who is out with an injury). Their fourth member is Konosuke Takeshita, who is fighting with a single-minded purpose, which is to surpass Kenny Omega. Their fifth member later turns out to be Pac, who has no real immediate story reason to be there, besides past grudges. The enemy of my enemy is my friend, and all that.

The Elite has Kenny Omega, Hangman Adam Page, and Matt and Nick Jackson. I can’t recall the precise moment I knew that Kota Ibushi would be their fifth member, but it was before the Blood & Guts match was even announced.

The moment I knew for sure, though, was when I saw this clip, which was filmed after Dynamite on July 5. Speaking to the crowd, Kenny says that during the week when his whereabouts were unknown, he didn’t stay home, and he didn’t go to Canada. “But where I went was for a good old friend, someone who is very near and dear to my heart.” He smiles when he says that last part, and his smile alone is a dead giveaway.

If there was any remaining doubt, this article by Michael Nakazawa on the DDT site cleared it up for me. The article sums up Konosuke Takeshita’s AEW story, which of course I know very well, but I wanted to see Nak’s take on it. This part was another giveaway that Kota Ibushi was going to be the 5th person on The Elite’s side: "そして竹下が抜け一人欠けたジ・エリート側には誰が入るのか？DDTファンにとっては竹下とケニーという顔合わせは見逃せないものになるだろう。(ここで多く触れるつもりはないがジ・エリート側の伏せられたメンバーとの顔合わせも見逃せないものになるだろう。) " (“And with Takeshita out, The Elite are down a member. Who will fill in on their side? DDT fans won’t want to miss the face-off between Takeshita and Kenny. (I’m not going to touch on it too much, but I’m sure that the confrontation with the unknown member of The Elite is also something not to be missed.”)

On July 12, the week before Blood & Guts, they reveal the 5th member of the Elite’s team. The Blackpool Combat Club has Kenny at their mercy, a chair around his neck. Mox offers him the microphone so that he can say his last words. Kenny says, “We still have a fifth member, too.” He’s laughing, even though he struggles to breathe. “Check the screen. Check the screen, you bitch.” The look on his face is absolutely serene.

The arena goes dark. Kota’s new music plays, though the crowd doesn’t recognize it. But everyone cheers when he shows up onscreen. I’d been wondering if a Canadian crowd would be more familiar with Kota Ibushi than an American one, since I’ve heard that the TV station that AEW airs on frequently plays Kenny’s documentary, so many regular AEW watchers in Canada likely have seen it. This crowd certainly knows who he is.

At the end of the video, The Elite is now listed as the Golden Elite instead.

The lights turn back on. The Young Bucks and Hangman are here now, ready to save Kenny. As the Blackpool Combat Club clears out of the ring, Kenny picks up the mic. He says, “We might be one man down, but we’re never out. Next week, Blood & Guts, we’re gonna show you guys it’s more than about fighting, it’s more than about your kill-jitsu; this is about more than that. Heart, passion, soul, friendship, love.” He smiles as he says love, his voice almost breaking.

He knows they’ve already won. Kota Ibushi is coming, and it’s all going to be okay.

After the reveal, Kota tweeted about it (he also posted it in English). That “AEW見ていたよ、ずっとね” (“I’ve been watching AEW, this whole time”) line in particular, I am overcome. I don’t even know how to put into words what it felt like to read that. Golden Lovers fans have been waiting four long years for Kota Ibushi to make an AEW appearance.

I don’t think any of us expected it would be anything like this.

Kota arrived in the US a few days before the match. He tweeted a photo of him and Kenny and Nak at Kenny’s house, which still feels utterly surreal to me.

And here at last we’ve reached the match.

I’m going to preface this by saying that AEW did a spectacularly bad job with the production on this match, which isn’t exactly unusual for them, but I’m less forgiving with this one. I think every single time the Golden Lovers started interacting, the camera basically immediately cut away. It’s hard to interpret it as intentional malice, considering how bad their usual production is, but it was jarring how little the production team seemed to understand what people actually wanted to see here.

The photos on the official website are also an incredibly poor selection (Kota and Takeshita aren’t in a single one of them), which seems to be a theme with every Blood & Guts show. And because AEW bans fan photography, if Scott Lesh isn’t there, and the official photographers drop the ball, we’re basically entirely out of luck. I got desperate enough, I actually attempted the bold and unprecedented strategy of just asking AEW for access to more photos. I couldn’t get them retroactively, unfortunately, but I should have more photos for shows going forward.

The whole thing made me extra appreciative of the work of Japanese fan photographers, who are so good at not only capturing vivid and dynamic photographs of moves, but who also capture the quieter moments, like exchanges between wrestlers at the corner. A lot of pro wrestling lives in those quiet moments, not in the bloody violence or flashy athleticism.

I think fundamentally that’s where me and this match were at odds. I was watching for the quiet moments, and what AEW thought they were delivering to viewers was the blood and violence.

In the end, the Golden Lovers were only one of like a dozen things that were going on in this match. So ultimately, it wasn’t really about them. I’m more at peace with that fact now at the time of writing, over a month after the match, than I was when I watched the match live. I think when you’ve waited so long for something that means so much to you, it’s almost impossible not to be disappointed when you finally get that thing, because it’s competing with all of the versions of it that played out in your head.

Kenny entered first for their team, and Kota entered last. The two of them were the bookends for the Golden Elite, the beginning and the end, containing the entirety of the faction between them. Kenny wore fully Kota Ibushi themed gear, so the two of them matched. The Young Bucks and Hangman had their own set of matching gear, which was white and purple in contrast to the Golden Lovers’ white and blue (I’m sure this divide won’t become important later).

Leading up to this match, the Blackpool Combat Club had repeatedly had The Elite’s number. They’d beaten them up more times than I can count, had mutilated them with screwdrivers, and had dragged Kenny through the hell of Don Callis’s and Takeshita’s betrayal.

But now The Elite had their secret weapon. They were finally whole again.

From the second act onward, as soon as Kota Ibushi, the final member, made his entrance, the story of the match was that the Golden Elite needed him to save them. Whenever things started going too badly for them, he’d come in and change the course of the match so that it was in their favor. Every time.

I think my favorite spot in the match involved this horrific bed of nails which turned out to actually be a bed of screwdrivers. Very thematically apt. Mox was laid out on it, and Kota approached him, and I knew immediately what he was about to do, yet still gasped when he actually did it. He did his trademark standing moonsault, his knees impacting directly with Mox’s chest, driving Mox’s body deeper into the screwdriver heads.

The Golden Lovers reunited over Mox’s prone body. They reached for each other in relief, and I looked to see their expressions, my heart pounding, and the camera had already cut away from them.

Some other things I remember: Matt Jackson poured a sack of thumbtacks down from the roof of the cage into the ring, and Pac stomped Nick Jackson through a table in a dramatic spot that looked far better in the replays than it had in the original shot. Mox brought the wild violence probably more than anyone else in the match.

I wish we’d gotten a little more with Takeshita and Kota, as it was their first time sharing a ring together in many years. But this match wasn’t really about that, either.

In the final minutes of the match, Pac and Claudio get into an argument, then Pac cuts his losses and bails. Don Callis pulls Takeshita out shortly after, realizing that their side is almost definitely losing. The match has now become a 5-on-3.

The Golden Elite unleash everything they have left onto poor Wheeler Yuta. Then they hoist him up with the chain around his neck, and he starts to pass out. The referee calls for the bell. I didn’t realize exactly what had happened at first, because the production failed to show it, but it was actually Mox who had ended the match. He surrendered to save Yuta.

Someone summed up the story very succinctly in a discord screenshot from somewhere. A person with the display name “V….” said: “So in the end the story is that despite how much conflict the Elite have had over the years when the time came, they were the ultimate cohesive unit and the BCC, despite how much they crow about being professionals and loving each other, had to rely on mercenaries that coincidentally had grudges against the Elite that bailed because they didn’t have as much skin in the game and in the end Moxley, a man who tries to portray himself as nothing but violent and merciless, had to surrender to save his protege in practically a perfect mirror of him submitting to Hangman at Revolution.”

For once, I actually found myself in near perfect agreement with what seems to be the IWC’s general consensus of the story of that match. I really liked how my friend described it: “mox literally had to surrender to love in more ways than one”.

The end of the match ran up against the end of their TV timeslot, the enemy of televised wrestling in America, though we did get one final shot of the Golden Lovers together right as the show went off the air. The post-match stuff didn’t quite make it onto the show, but some fans captured video of it. Kenny spoke on the mic for a bit, and one of the things he said is that we’ll probably be seeing Kota in AEW again.

Kota was unfortunately at a pretty severe disadvantage this whole match for several reasons. This was only his third match since coming back from his 2021 injury, for one thing, and it was much more demanding than either of his GCW matches in March. It was also a match style he was not at all accustomed to, and it was his first time wrestling in AEW.

We found out in a tweet he made later that he hadn’t realized that his normal wrestling shoes wouldn’t be well-suited for the match, so the thumbtacks and glass pierced through his shoes and hurt him throughout the match. Reminds me a bit of the original Little Mermaid story, where every step the mermaid takes on land hurts…

He didn’t actually come in contact much with the thumbtacks during the match itself, besides the ones that made it through his shoes. The thumbtacks in the photo in the above tweet came into play after the match. When they went off the air, Kota intentionally threw himself onto the thumbtacks, just for fun. Kenny had a pretty funny reaction, haha. He looked at him like he knew he’d be the person picking every single one of those tacks out of Kota’s back later.

And sure enough, Being The Elite featured a clip of Kenny doing exactly that. They talk briefly in Japanese while Kenny’s taking the tacks out of Kota’s back. Here’s a transcription of the Japanese. I love how Kenny takes care of Kota before getting his own wounds tended to, despite his own back being in far worse shape.

Kota explained the reason why he jumped into the tacks in a reply to El Desperado (English translation) (Despy also recently took a totally unnecessary tack bump himself). Since it was Kota’s first time in AEW, he decided to take a bump onto the tacks in lieu of a greeting. I think he knew that he really had to do something memorable to leave a strong impression in the minds of all of the American fans who’d never seen him before, so this is what he chose to do. It did make me smile seeing the reactions from Japanese fans. As soon as that moment happened, a lot of Japanese fans on twitter were like, “yep, that’s him; Kota Ibushi is back”.

After the match, apparently all ten of the guys in it were visibly emotional that they’d gotten that chance to wrestle each other, and Matt Jackson had them all sign one of his shoes so that he had a memento to remember the occasion by.

In Kenny’s unaired post-match promo, he says, “I'm a lover, not a fighter. You guys don't know by now, I'm a lover, not a fighter. There's one thing I learned throughout this rivalry of ours. When push comes to shove, you guys are as tough as they come. You taught us what it means to not only be a professional wrestler, but to be a wrestler.” He says, “I'm willing to stick my hand out and shake yours if you guys wanna let bygones be bygones, because love you or freaking hate you, Moxley, love you or hate you, Claudio, love you or hate your ugly ass [to Wheeler Yuta], I respect each and every one of you.”

And that’s that. The end of the feud.

In an interview, Claudio said what they wanted to come across was that: “We lost that battle, but we won the war. Thanks to the Blackpool Combat Club, now The Elite is better than ever. We brought them to a place they’ve never been.”

In a way, the BCC did end up fixing up the house that is AEW. They patched up the walls by bringing the Golden Elite back together, thus repairing the original heartbreak that was what caused the cracks to form initially. The Golden Elite is the best version of The Elite. It is their truest form, shining with love.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CvC9uVHOHJZ/

https://twitter.com/JJWilliamsWON/status/1682966137187778560

#see my wrestling journal for most of my wrestling writing this year that is not my TJPW translations! (some of those are in there too)#hoping to get it caught up by the beginning of october but i'm not optimistic jkfdghdfg #i also want to be back on tumblr properly but i've been so busy lately... rip #golden lovers #wrassling #love and genuine feeling

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lolamarlowe65 · 2 years ago

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𝓘𝓷 𝓶𝔂 𝓯𝓮𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 //James Hetfield

"The house next door was just sold, i hope the new neighbour will be nice."

part three of ? part two

disclaimers : smut, age gap (modern day james), slow burn shit, sex dream, smoking, probably drinking, whatever must know human reproduction to interact, kids dni

Wattpad link

࿓ 𓋪・𖧹 𖤐

Chapter 3 - 1967 Camaro

After I got home I put myself to sleep. Maybe I'll get some sleep. I haven't slept well since my mom's gone. It's always nice to sleep normally sometimes. My eyelids are heavy and I fall quicker than I did the last few weeks.

*I'm lying on my side in my bed above the covers. I don't have the time to know what I am doing when a hand falls gently on my waist.

This tattoo.

It's him.

He gently puts his hand under my shirt and pulls me to him by the waist.

"-My girl." i hear him whisper in my ear, his breath slowly attacking my neck.

I bite my lip. God, I'm so wet. I clench my thighs together and I can't help but start to rub against his growing erection. Fuck he seems so big.

"- Already so horny for me huh?" he says laughing against my neck.

"- Don't worry, I'll take care of you." he adds.

He climbs over me and starts attacking my neck. I want to whimper his name but I don't even know it. I put my hands in his hair. I hold him like he is my oxygen. I can't let go.

"-Mmhh..." i moan.

He lifts his head and smiles at me.

"- I -*

I suddenly wake up to the sound of an engine outside. I don't know what to think about this. I don't even know his name! Plus he's way older than me.

Well, a little dream never hurts anybody, right?

I slide my hand in my panties just to check. Jesus, I'm so wet. I'm down so bad.

It's not like you will ever see him again Ann, it's okay.

I got up and looked out the window. The sound of the engine came from a moving van. The new owner of the house next door was moving in.

Today I don't have work. I have to get some groceries, that's all. I decided to stay in my pyjamas and stay chill for the day. Well I sleep in my underwear and no shirt, so I put on some shorts and a Doors shirt.

That's my shit, I'm into 60s rock. The Doors is my favourite band. Apart from the 60s and very early 70s i don't know shit about music. 70s, 80s, 90s and after : no idea. My mom used to listen to Guns n'Roses sometimes and she loved Motörhead so I know who Lemmy Killmister and Axl Rose are (mom told me he was an asshole by the way) but that's it. I've always been stuck with the 60s. I know the classics, you know GnR, Queen, Nirvana, Metallica, etc... even though i could never recognise one of their members if they were put in front of my face.

I go down to the living room and put on some music. There is my grandmother, reading softly. I go kiss her on the cheek.

"- What did you put on my dear?" my grandma asked sweetly.

"- Jefferson Airplane, i know you love them." i tell her.

"- Oh yeah, it reminds me of my teenage years."

I know my grandmother saw so many things going on around L.A in the 60s/70s, she said she wrote them down in her notebooks and she'll give them to me one day. I know I'll probably have them when she's gone and I don't want that. So I'd rather not know until a long time. I sit down next to her and put my head on her shoulder. She puts her hand on my hair and begins to caress them slowly.

"- It seems you have slept well sweetheart. Had sweet dreams?" my grandma asks.

I cough a little bit.

"- Well... it was an okay night, I slept better than the last few days." i answer, trying not to be embarrassed by the remembrance of my wet dream.

"- I'm glad you did darling."

She kisses my forehead.

"- Hey grandma guess what?" i asked.

"- What sweetheart?" she questioned.

"- There's gonna be new neighbours next door. Maybe they'll be a nice couple." i say enjoyed.

I secretly hope this is a nice couple. That would make it more secure for my grandmother. Not that Stacy isn't good but for emergencies purposes when i'm not there it would be practical.

"- Don't worry for me sweetheart. Whether they are a gang member or a nice couple, I'm sure it'll be nice." she says laughing sweetly.

I laugh too. My grandmother is a badass that's for sure. I get up to get something to eat.

I hear a knock on the door and look at the clock. It must be Stacy.

"- Hey Stacy! Good morning!" we greet each other.

"- Hey girl! Did you notice the moving van?" questioned Stacy.

I walk outside the front door with Stacy and look over the porch to catch a glimpse.

"- Yeah it woke me up. Too bad I was having a nice dream for once." i answer, bothered.

I saw the questioning look of Stacy. She probably wanted to ask about my dream but she must have assumed I was saying that for once I was not having a nightmare about my mom's death. So she let go. Well it's true. I did not have a nightmare. But I did go from one extreme to the other.

"- You know who is the new owner?" Stacy asked.

"- No, not yet. I hope they are a nice couple. You know with my grandma and all."

"- Oooh maybe it's a nice and sexy dude just for your eyes to eat." says Stacy jokingly.

"- Stacy, come on."

"- What?! It would be nice!" she states.

No guy could beat the man I saw yesterday anyway. So her joke doesn't even work. Maybe I should tell her.

I get up and close the front door so my grandma doesn't hear.

"- Hey Stacy." i said to her with a shy face.

"- Oh my god tell me! You look like it's something nice!" Stacy asked excitedly.

We were sitting on the stairs of the front porch. Watching the workers move in the stuff into the newly sold house.

"- I saw the sexiest man alive yesterday at the pharmacy." i say, embarrassed.

"- Ann tell me you took his number?!" Stacy said, shaking my shoulders.

"- No way! Plus he looked so much older than me."

"- Well, I don't see the problem." she says dubiously.

I rolled my eyes and Stacy saw it.

"- Think about it. Life's too short for you to give a shit and your mom would say the exact same thing. You're an adult. He's an adult. You want him. And if he wants you, why would you not go for it. It being consensual is all that matters." she says excitedly.

"- I don't know. You're probably right. Anyway it's not like I'm gonna see him again."

"- I know I'm right! I always am. Next time something like that happens you go for it!"

I put my head in my hands for a second and sigh.

"- That's not the worst Stace."

"- What?" asked Stacy.

"- I had a sex dream about him last night." i say almost whispering.

"- WHAT?!" she coughed "I mean... What? No way! I didn't know you were that perverted girl!" she says laughing.

"- Fuck you."

"- I mean it's not a big deal, happens to the best of us. You saw a hot dilf, your brain made a sex dream about him. That's normal. Whatever. But i'm glad you dreamt about something else tho."

"- So it doesn't mean anything?"

"- No, maybe that you need a good fuck. But that's all. Look. The dreams you have about your mom are only a reaction to her death. It doesn't mean much more right? Same thing."

"- The dreams of my mom means that I miss her."

"- Yeah and this dream means you need to relax. Now i'm not telling you to fuck an older man, i'm telling you you just need to let go."

"- Argh" i exhale. "You're right, I do need to relax."

"- Yeah, do some of those artsy pictures you are so talented for or something. Try and live your passion. France is in good hands, plus it's not like you taking a step forward will forbid you from taking care of your grandma."

France is the name of my grandmother. It's a beautiful name. When Stacy uses her first name I know she's being serious.

"- Maybe. I don't know if I'm ready."

"- It's been years since you stopped living for yourself. It's time for you to start again." said Stacy concerned.

"- Years?! I'm not that old!"

"- Two years is already too much when you forget about yourself."

My mom was diagnosed two years ago. That's when I stopped everything to take care of her. I completely forgot it's already been that long.

"- This whole thing is so torturous."

"- It could be simple Ann, but I get why you don't see it. I know you will. You're a girlboss." she winked at me.

Stacy then gave me a warm hug.

The workers outside were taking out some big black boxes, they looked like engineering stuff. As well as cases. That looked like music stuff. It's cool, maybe it's a couple of artists. It's hard to see well anyway. This house is still big and there's a big path between the portal and the house.

"- And what about you, Stace? How is it going in your love life?" i asked, trying to make her stop talking about my life.

"- Wait look!" Stacy exclaimed.

Out of nowhere a loud engine roamed from the left side of the street. A black 1967 Chevrolet Camaro approaches. I thought that it was a nice car but that's the type to be owned by a douchebag. I hope they don't pull to this house.

Next thing I know, it does pull up to the newly sold house. It pissed me off. What is it? A douchebag musician who thinks they're rich and famous after one hit? I hope they're not gonna act like the neighbours in the highly modern houses around the block. They despise you because they got more money. Money they got by doing nothing but stealing it from their parents in general. They're lucky my grandmother is nice because I know a lot of old ladies who would have kicked their ass just for having such a loud car.

"- Oh fuck no." i frowned.

"- You've got your answer girl, douchebag bought the house. Love the car tho." she said with a doubting look on her face.

"- Give me a cigarette, I'm begging you Stace!"

I don't smoke. Normally. Well I do a little, when I feel too stressed I do. I've chained smoke the whole week after my mom died. I haven't smoked in a week. But now I need one. So many confusing things are going on around me. Stacy looks through her bag and gives me a cigarette and a lighter. I light it like a starved man.

"- Thanks Stace." i say giving her the lighter back.

"- That's not gonna solve our problem."

"- Problem?" i ask, raising a brow.

"- Who the hell is douchebag dude. I mean he may be a douchebag but I still wanna see his face."

"- Yup, me too."

He stopped in the street, not in his driveway, probably not to bother the people moving in his stuff. The car windows were tinted a little, so we couldn't see much. The car door opened and there he was.

Oh my god.

He was there.

The man from the pharmacy. The hottest man I ever crossed paths with. The man whose hand gave me a wet dream. The man I never thought I would see again. He looked over at us and smiled slightly before quickly looking away.

*"- My girl."*

Him calling me like this in my dream came back to me suddenly. I coughed due to the cigarette smoke that got tangled in my lungs because of the shock.

"- Fuck..." i said between breaths.

I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. I should. But i can't.

I forgot all about what I said earlier. He walked toward the house, shaking hands with the workers moving in his stuff. He was wearing a black leather jacket and black jeans. I couldn't look away from his attitude. The way he walked. The way he looked so smooth talking to other people. That I already knew with the way he talked to Pam. But it was a better sight.

"- Hey guys, how's it going?" he asked the workers with the beautifulest smile i have ever seen.

"Whatever" I say to myself breathing in smoke. It's not like him being my new neighbour is gonna change something.

"- OH. MY. GOD." said Stacy.

Stacy had her mouth wide open. She looked like she saw God herself.

"- What?"

"- No way you didn't recognise him!" said Stacy.

"- FUCK what is wrong? Pam yesterday and now you. What? Who's this guy?" i say obviously pissed off.

"- Pam?" she raised a brow.

"- Him. This dude. He's the one i saw at the pharmacy yesterday."

"- No way you've had a wet dream with James Hetfield?!" she exclaims.

"- James Hetfield?!"

"- James Hetfield. The singer of Metallica." she says like it's obvious.

"- What the fuck?"

"- That's so cool girl! Ann, your new neighbour is James Hetfield! And you've got a thing for him. I heard he got divorced not long ago. If it's any of use for you." she goes on with a malicious smile.

"- Stacy."

"- What?" she laughs.

I light off my cigarette and get up. I get some stuff in the entryway and get out again.

"- I'M GOING TO GET GROCERIES GRANDMA, I'LL BE BACK SOON. LOVE YOU." i shout to my grandma who's on the other side of the first floor.

I turn around to face Stacy.

"- Whatever. I need to do some groceries. One word of this to my grandmother and I'll beat your ass. I'll tell her about the metalhead neighbour when the time is right!"

Stacy laughed.

"- Okay okay. You're the boss."

I give her the finger while getting in my car. I need to change air.

I'm parking in front of the grocery store. Before coming out my mind wanders.

James Hetfield. Him. He is the guy I have a crush on. Well only a little crush but still.

I look up "James Hetfield" on my phone.

It truly is him. Even in pictures he gives me this weird effect. He was so cute young. He was so hot in the 90s. But nothing compares to him now. He truly is ethereal. I want to know more, to know him more. Not because of his fame, just because he attracts me. I'm so confused.

"- James." i sigh, throwing my head back on the headrest.

࿓ 𓋪・𖧹 𖤐

A/N : slow burn shit is killing me i have to write sex dreams. Chapter 4 is ready btw. XOXO <33

#james hetfield #james hetfield smut #james hetfield fanfiction #metallica #metallica smut #metallica fanfiction

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kokokoula · 1 year ago

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BSD S5E2 thoughts

i am so late for this i apologise. but the episode was so not a letdown, it really meets my expectations. the reason why i'm starting on e2 and not e1 because e1 was more of setting the scene and picking up where they had left off. e2 is where the plot thickens and intensifies. plus, ranpo had a lot of screen time in this, and alas, i'm a simp for him.

DISCLAIMERS: this is not spoiler free, so if you haven't watched it yet, continue at your own discretion. also, don't attack me if we don't share the same opinions and views. this is just my thoughts. lower case intended.

"TURNS OUT YOU'RE QUITE THE IDIOT TOO."

one of the scenes that strikes me most is the car ride scene where minoura, the officer who ranpo interacts often during cases over the years, drives him to a safer location after freeing him from captivity. during this, minoura seems to be in a bit of a frenzy, while ranpo relaxes with a smile on his face that has been there since minoura arrived. (he's so adorable jdfhiasu) we all know that ranpo is incredibly intelligent, and could deduce people's motives and future actions. however, when minoura asks him whether he knew that some of the officers would trust his righteousness and intellect, and would therefore risk their lives to save him, ranpo admits that he did not know whether they believe him. during the whole time, he was not expecting to be saved, yet he was and realises how many people actually trusts him to the point of sticking their own heads out for him. imagine the amount of love and gratefulness he must have felt from this. i'm really glad that ranpo is reminded how precious he is to everyone, like he has that reassurance that he is reliable. this is also probably the reason why he could not stop smiling when he was rescued. AND HIS GIGGLE IN THE END I'M TEARING UP.

"ALL I'LL DO IS TRUST, BECAUSE THE PRESIDENT SAID QUITE SIMPLY 'I TRUST FUKUCHI'."

y'all i'm not gonna lie, this scene made me love him so much more, and it's saying a lot because i love him tons already. the whole scene where he tries to persuade fukuchi to help ADA capture the page from kamui really shows the kind of role fukuzawa plays in ranpo's life. i think we can all agree that fukuzawa is a dad to ranpo, right? he took care of ranpo since his teen years, introduce to him the idea of his unusual intelligence being his special ability, gave him a job, and created a family for him aka ADA. as i said before, we know ranpo is smart enough to guess what fukuchi would do and manipulate his decisions, and he himself admitted that. but he didn't. all because he respected, looked up to, and ultimately TRUST fukuzawa. he knows how much fukuchi means to his 'dad' as a friend, and wants to respect that, at the cost of ADA. ranpo even gets down on one knee and say that he trusts him too. (don't mind me, but that shot of ranpo that i attached under the quote is so fine. is it just me?) that's why i was pissed as hell when ranpo found out that fukuchi is kamui. my boy was devoted to his father and THIS is what he gets.

"SOMEBODY, ANYBODY, PLEASE, FIGHT ALONGSIDE ME."

this is great content for atsushi x akutagawa shippers. the way i was chanting akutagawa's name, waiting for him to appear, and then scream when he did. was choosing akutagawa to help atsushi at his lowest moment a mere coincidence? i think not. asagiri knows what he's doing. context is, if you don't know, ranpo deduced that kamui is fukuchi, and of course was right. luckily, ranpo managed to escape, but unfortunately for atsushi, he couldn't, knowing fukuchi can easily catch up to him, and leaving him with no choice but to fight him. but atsushi knows that fukuchi is a much greater fighter than he is, and starts to get scared. scared because he was alone in this battle. and we know that he has ptsd from his orphanage days. so he begs to the universe to give him an ally, and boy, did the universe choose well. akutagawa being there is like a knight in shining armour moment. this is quite straightforward so i don't have to explain so much. let's lose our minds together over this.

HIGHLIGHTS

ranpo pushing kunikida to atsushi when he was about to be hugged like BOY JUST ACCEPT SOME AFFECTION

kyouka saying that she was trying to hold herself back from hugging ranpo, kunikida and yosano. SOMEONE HUG HER FOR GOODNESS' SAKE

when yosano asks ranpo what he will do, he replies, "what do you think? i'm doing the funnest part of the job." cut to him showing up again in front of the fukuchi with a "heya, i'm that terrorist everyone's talking about." he's so chaotic, i love it.

fukuchi and ranpo interacting like uncle and nephew respectively for a while. that was cute. AND RANPO CASUALLY EXPOSING FUKUCHI'S BEHAVIOUR AT ADA'S OPENING CEREMONY

the fact that ranpo has a novel written by poe to use as an escape route is something i'll never get over. ranpo and poe >>>>

#bungo stray dogs #bsd #atsushi nakajima #akutagawa ryuunosuke #ranpo edogawa #fukuzawa yukichi #bsd spoilers #bsd season 5

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fairyniceyeah · 2 months ago

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What are your thoughts about 1,9,10 and 22 for the asks?? 😊

Hey there^^

Thanks for the ask, I finally got around to answer all the questions <3

1. What’s one fic you want to spotlight and why? Include the title, summary, warnings, and a link!

Uuuuh, interesting! I think, hands down, it’s my Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story? series from ao3. It’s more or less the same fic just one part from Combeferre’s perspective and one part from Enjolras’ perspective. I spend so many hours on research and writing it and even cried while doing so. It took a lot of effort – both fics are over 55,000 words…

I gotta be honest, I am pretty sad that it never really reached many people – but I get that the Les Mis fandom is already pretty small and the story itself is very niche, so I am disappointed, yes, but I didn’t expect anything else either. I tell myself that at one point I will post the rest of the second story but I never really get around to it…

Part 1: The Sky’s the limit

Now Combeferre was left alone, left behind. It hurt. It’s not that he wasn’t used to feeling alone. His friends always seemed to have a connection with each other that he didn’t quite share. He had been there wherever they went but not quite. They had always moved like cog wheels, linked together and working so seamlessly together they seemed like one. Combeferre himself felt like a separate part of the machine, there but not there.

CW: depression, self-harm, s*icide attempts, hospitals, cancer, emeto, diarrhea in the context of illness, assisted s*icide, amnesia, death

Part 2: Stay Alive

“Combeferre needs somebody he can rely on. Normally I tell people that they have their whole life to freak out over somebody’s death, that they shouldn’t freak out where they can see. But with you – Enjolras you are hurting yourself and you are hurting Combeferre and the rest of your friends when you ignore how much you are hurting. This isn’t just about Combeferre anymore, it’s about all your insecurities and fears and your self-hate. This isn’t healthy and sustainable. How long can you go on until you fall and nobody will be able to catch you?” Enjolras is burning out - badly.

CW: depression, self-harm, s*icide attempts, hospitals, cancer, emeto, diarrhea in the context of illness, assisted s*icide, amnesia, death, migraines, panic attacks, sexuality crisis

If anybody is interested in reading I would probably die of happiness (and this is not a stupid manipulation tactic, I really just would like my work to be appreciated but I know I can’t make anybody do that!).

9. Which character do you genuinely think you would be really good friends with if they existed in real life?

Disclaimer: I’m gonna interpret “character” as “idol” in this one. Obviously I know we never know everything about idols, especially as recent events have proven, but this is based on how they show themselves on screen.

Honestly, I think I’d get along pretty well with Hongjoong from ATEEZ? He is very socially aware which drew me to choosing him as my bias in the first place. He just seems like a genuinely kind and respectful person and somebody I would want to be friends with! Besides, we have similar hobbies with reforming clothes so we have that in common which would surely help speed friendship along.

Going back to fiction: I think I might really get along with Alec Lightwood from Shadowhunters? He seems to be such a cool person and I would love to go to pride with him and Magnus. And he could moan about being the oldest sibling and how annoying that is despite loving younger siblings XD

10. Is there a character that you love in fiction, but if they were real you might punch them?

I’ve said so before to friends but I think I might have beef with Woosung from The Rose if we met. I don’t even know why, it’s just a feeling. Not that I don’t love him, I do! Just, I think we have a very different humor and approach to life that might clash? He has a very (what we call in social pedagogy) “laissez-faire” work ethic at times and I stress myself out about a lot of stuff, so we would probably get frustrated with each other. But punching would be a bit too far...

In fiction: I was a hardcore Supernatural fan years ago and I loved Dean Winchester. But hands down, he is a pretty awful dude – misogynistic at times, insensible and basically an alcoholic (no judgement here but the way he glorifies alcohol makes me uncomfortable). It’d probably find him insufferable and if he treated me how he treats some women on the show I would definitely punch him!

22. You can only write fic for one character for the rest of your life. Who is it and why?

Noooo, don’t do this to meeeeee! I couldn’t choose! As said before, I keep switching between fandoms and hyperfocusing on them, so I would love the character/idol until something else comes along that I can’t write for and then I would never write again…

My heart currently, obviously, says Woozi from SEVENTEEN but, hands down, if you had asked half a year ago I would have said Hongjoong from ATEEZ and even further back ... I think you get what I mean XD

Lots of love,

🧚🏻‍♀️

#🧚🏻‍♀️#ask #ask answered

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